I know what it’s like to have everything you thought you'd always wanted – I know what it’s like to watch it all slip away -
In my 30's, married with three small children. From the outside looking in, we were the picture of happiness. I did all the ‘right’ things – I lived in the best neighborhoods, drove nice cars, went to the right parties. I went to church, taught Sunday school, and attended the obligatory Beth Moore bible study. I was a good girl. To all who looked in, I had a perfect and happy life. But inside, we were a hot mess and I was dying a slow death from the inside out.
I brought a lot of baggage to my adult life from my childhood with a family history of alcoholism, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, relational dysfunction, codependence, and misused anger. I didn't have the tools to cope effectively with life. I did not want to repeat these patterns of behavior I learned growing up. I did not want to model these for my children. So I set out on a journey: a journey of healing – a journey of peace and a journey of love.
In this process, my life completely fell apart. I got real and admitted I was emotionally, relationally, and financially bankrupt in the middle of a failed business a failing marriage. I found a good therapist and an even greater support system and together, we began dredging through the garbage of my life. I took one day at a time and did the best I could with what I had - I believe that's all anyone can ever do. It was messy and it was painful, but it was worth it. I will forever be grateful to those who were a part of my life during that season.
What I found was a joy I never thought possible. I found peace, I found love. Love for myself, and love for those around me. I learned how to meet people where they are – I learned how to set boundaries with the toxic people in my life. I learned how to say no. I learned how to say yes and mean it. I’m not perfect in any of this of course, it’s a journey. But there is significant improvement in my life and the lives of those around me in each passing day.
I have lived, I have done the work and have come to realize true joy comes from being real and knowing who you are, who you were created to be. Transparency and vulnerability are some of the keys to finding happiness and fulfillment in this world. I have experienced great joy – I have experienced great pain and through it, I have learned valuable lessons; lessons that can only be taught through life. Lessons that can transform you if you let them.
I am living my best life, right now. I hope to share my experiences through this project to help others live the full life they were created for.