Unchained by Sara Stansberry
This week I received a message via Twitter asking two questions:
Will you share where you are now on this journey? What happened as a result of your willingness to embrace change?
It seemed interesting, so I agreed to answer via blog post. Only, it proved to be more challenging than I expected. Consequently, I’ve decided to answer the first question here and the second in my next post, so check back for that one. Thanks, @BeingKwa for the ask!
Will you share where you are now on this journey?
So, where am I on the journey? That is a great question. The easy and most accurate answer of course - I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. But I don’t think that’s the answer you’re after. Essentially, where I am now goes something like this:
I live each day as it comes. I grow and I learn, becoming more and more comfortable and secure. There is a peace in my life, today more than yesterday, more than last week, last month. I don’t have all the answers and I don’t have anything completely figured out and have discovered I don’t have to. The answers and the figuring come to me in the right time. In this way, I am beautifully undone.
Is my life free from problems? Absolutely not! In fact, one might say I have more problems now than ever. What’s changed is my capacity to handle those problems in an effective way with grace and ease. My problems no longer consume me; and more importantly, they are not created by me. In other words, the more I make choices that are in my best interest and are good for me, the fewer problems I create in my own life.
Currently, I’m working through the challenges of managing the expectations I place on both myself and others. I’m working toward becoming more patient with myself in regard my feelings. Accepting my feelings and my progression of growth is a primary focus. It is difficult to have feelings of dis-ease without the desire to want to alleviate those feelings as quickly as possible. The problem with this is that if you don’t allow feelings the take their natural course, if you rush through them, you will find the pain you’re attempting to avoid will recreate itself somehow down the line. Resolution is so important. Resolution and acceptance are so important. I’m learning this. Don’t leave relationships and circumstances unresolved.
Also, feelings don’t have to control behavior.
Another thing I’m working on is coming into a consciousness where I can see beyond my own pain. Sometimes we get so caught up in how much we’re hurting we cannot see the forest for the trees. There is a lot more here that I’m not ready to talk about just yet.
Relationally, I have been divorced for almost 4 years and it has taken me about this long to embrace the idea of being single. Funny thing, I never intended to embrace the idea of being single. And though I’m confident I won’t be single forever, there is a peace and simplicity about not being in a partnership right now. There is truly a difference between loneliness and being alone. When it is time to add another person into the equation of my life, it will be to enhance and not to fix.
So, that’s where I am today – ask me tomorrow, and the answers might look a little different, I hope so anyway. I hope this answered your question, @BeingKwa.
In the next post, I’ll answer, what happened as a result of your willingness to embrace change? That one’s a doozy.
Here’s to making it great.