No, You're Not Crazy

Feeling crazy in a relationship? The problem might not be you - you might be experiencing gaslighting.  Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the victim is left questioning and doubting their own feelings and sanity. Gaslighting is a power play used by the perpetrator to gain control over the victim. 

I know many women (and just as many men) who experience gaslighting in marriage - but it can occur in any relationship. The worst thing about gaslighting is its subtle nature - it's like a slow boil that is hard to notice, even by those who are emotionally well-adjusted. 

Sometimes gaslighters are full-fledged narcissists (I know a few real-life examples of these extreme cases - it does happen and it's not pretty). But many I've experienced are addicts who use confusion to throw those close to them off the trail of their habits. And, there are others who who use it to manipulate victims to get something they want, namely a dependence from - or power over  - another person. These are the people who only feel safe when they're in full control. 

I'm not a mental health professional so if you think you might be a victim of gaslighting and need help in your particular circumstance, please seek professional help.  I've also included some resources in my Divorcing Well FB group if you'd like to learn more about gaslighting.