I am writing a book, Divorcing Well. I've gotten a good ways in, but would like your feedback and input before going further. Below, you'll find the first page. Take a look and tell me: Would you read this? What parts (of my story) would you like to know more about? Send me a message!
AND - I'm sending the first chapter to those who subscribe to my emails - so sign up if you haven't already! (That's below)
Happy reading -
(From my book, Divorcing Well - A Story About Relationships)
I made a vow. I would never get divorced. First, it was a promise to myself. I made that same promise to my future husband. No divorce – no matter what, especially if there were kids. Divorce was not an option. Then, we took that same vow and made it in front of all our friends and family and God.
The problem was, we didn’t know what the hell we were talking about. Neither of us was equipped to handle the challenges of relationship.
And when the realities of addiction and dysfunction and financial problems and kids with special needs began to hit we fell apart. If I’m being honest, there wasn’t much there to begin with because we were each ½ of a person trying to get whole at the others’ expense. We were living in a lifeless, loveless, stressed out co-existence - abusing ourselves, abusing each other.
You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em – fold ‘em – walk away – and run. (Thank you, Kenny Rogers) I didn’t run, but I did choose to walk away. Boldly, strongly, I walked away. I walked away from something that I couldn’t fix, something that was slowly killing me. I was terrified.
I had a vision. A plane had gone down; I was on the outer edge of the fire. Flames and ashes were all around – the entire sky a dark billowing red. I was witnessing the crash and burn of my life. I looked at it, watched it for a while, then slowly I turned around and began to walk away. I never looked back.
For me, accepting the realities of divorce was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I’ve had many difficult days since, but I’ve never had one moment of regret.
Through it all I found peace and joy –I found myself again, I became a better person. The people around me noticed my transformation. Most did not understand they were witnessing a resurgence of my true self.
My children were noticeably well adjusted during the transition as well. One of their teachers suggested I write a book about what we were doing that made things so different than most of the scenarios she witnesses of a regular basis. So, here it is.
I think I divorced well. This is what I did – maybe it can help you.