How to Become an Overcomer

Life is an amazing adventure. Filled with highs and lows, good and bad: there is a Yin and and Yang to all circumstances. I have experienced some real adversity in my life. I've lost jobs, friends, money. People I trusted have betrayed me. Things I hoped would work out didn't. I am not afraid to take chances - sometimes I come out on top. Sometimes I fall on my face, but all the time, I count it as good. Because I am LIVING! That's why. If you are alive, if you are really living, life may not always be pleasant, but  it will be real.  

Some have called me strong (true). But I like to think of myself as an overcomer, knowing that no matter what circumstances come my way, I can handle them with grace and peace. Here are some keys that help me hold on to hope in the face of adversity.

Look for the win. In every difficult situation there is always way out - I like to call it the win. Sometimes it's hard to see, but I promise you, it's there: this is how life works. If the win isn't clear right away, ask God (or your higher power or whatever you believe in) to show it to you. 

Focus on what you can do. It's easy to focus on the problem instead of your part in the solution. People sometimes come to me (both personally and professionally) to talk about their problems. I often ask, "I've heard all the reasons why this or that can't be done, how about we discuss what can be done." When you keep your focus on what you can do it helps you...

Take back your power.  I know, life is hard. I know, he's an ass. I know you are  right and they are  wrong - I get it.  But remember, you are not the victim of your own life. And at the end of the day, you are the only one responsible for you. Unless you're the parent of children who are minors, you are not responsible for anyone else either.  Not their feelings or attitudes or beliefs or behaviors. Don't give your power away to another person - or situation. Powerlessness equates to helplessness and you are not helpless  - you are an overcomer! 

Let go. Can you control it? Nope? Ok, then let it go...This applies especially to other human beings.  When you're controlling another human being, it's called slavery.

Get the hate out of your our heart. Holding on to resentment will literally kill you. If you are harboring hatred,  it will present itself some way, some how. And the person it will hurt the most is you.  Give grace and forgive as quickly as you can.  Forgiveness might be the most powerful tool in my toolbox. 

Don't give up. My brother often says, "it's amazing what you can accomplish if you simply refuse to quit." He's right. Don't quit,  keep going.

Never let others define you.  If you are doing anything worthwhile in this world, you will have lovers - and you will have haters. Don't let either of these groups define you. With one, you lose confidence, the other engages pride. And neither really represents the truth. Know who you are, who you want to be - and then enter into life with that. 

Living a real, authentic life is not for the faint of heart. Unfortunately, you can't experience true joy without also knowing devastation - and there are both. There are always both. Learn to use adversity as a tool to grow, to learn and be the best you you can possibly be and you'll do just fine. 

Keep it real and make it great everyone!