The Great Beauty

It was just another ordinary day when I decided to begin living the rest of my life - one day, and a choice that would change me forever.  It was a choice to live in authenticity; to live in boldness; to be genuine and get real.  Real with myself- and the rest of the world.  It was the day I stopped denying the past and refused to continue as a member of the walking dead into my future.

Around the same time, I had a dream. I was watching my young self, about 7 or 8, riding in the backseat of a car. I had thick, heavy metal chains wrapped all around me – they were tight and I couldn’t move. That girl was bound by a confusing, chaotic, and somewhat scary childhood.  I knew I had to get that girl unchained. So many of us are walking around all wrapped up and we don’t even notice – or we’re too scared to admit it.

We were each created to bring a special beauty to this world.  But most of us can’t seem to quite find what it is because we are looking in the wrong places. We look outside, when the real beauty is found inside. It resides in the uniqueness of who we are, who we were created to be.

It is found in our ability to be authentic and vulnerable - for that is the place where the universe touches your soul.  It’s in our victories, in our trials, in our laughter, and our tears. There is beauty in our stories, I think – a beauty to our pain and in our healing.

Sometimes people tell me their stories. And I love that.

I needed some photography for this blog and some other projects I’m working on. Last week, I went and had it done. But honestly, I didn’t really want to. The whole process seemed trite, so contrived. But I am so glad I did, I think everyone should do this at least once in their lifetime – even if you don’t have any real reason to.  It's a way to celebrate your beauty. I had the honor of meeting a few brave women that day. And together we celebrated beauty and strength – we shared our stories.  Some were sad, some filled with joy – but it seems everywhere I go, there is someone longing to wake up and stop living a half-dead life. 

Sometimes when I’m writing, I don’t really want to. Sometimes I’d rather just chuck this computer straight out the window. My resistance isn’t about apathy but vulnerability. What if I try my best to write things that might be important to people -and it’s not enough? What if it’s too much? What if I just dive under the covers and stay there for a few days?

But I won’t and here’s why… I refuse to remain a member of the walking dead - instead I will press into the effing discomfort.  Because that is how I grow, that is how I change.  This is how I become beautiful and share it with others.  

What are your stories? Where are you beautiful? I would love to know. I think the world would like to know. Share them at the end of this post, or if you need to remain anonymous, send a message to sara@sarastansberry.com.

Here’s to making a great!