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15 years, 3 kids, a dog, a house and all the rest. That was my life – and it was a good life – until it wasn’t any more.
Our outsides looked good but our insides were in shambles. It was time for me to face my demons and determine what kind of future I wanted for me and my children.
It’s been 4 years and I’ve never been happier.
Today, I’m thriving, my kids are thriving. But I couldn’t have done this without a team of supporters – my tribe. I recognize, not everyone is as fortunate as I am. Not everyone has a steady and stable group of supporters who are actively seeking growth – I’m talking about emotional intelligence.
Anyone can find a group that will listen and agree with them. Anyone can find someone in which to talk and share the latest gossip…
I’m talking about something more. What I’m talking about here is a group that doesn’t lament about your problems, but helps you focus on your solutions.
No one is a victim to their own life.
This group isn’t for everyone – the group is on Facebook, but this is not your Facebook life. This group is committed to helping you move forward into living your best life after divorce. Finding your best you. Offering real support, encouragement, and ideas as you transition into your new normal.
Life has taken an unexpected turn – but it doesn’t mean it’s over.
Come join us in the journey of divorcing well.
In this week’s, Divorcing Well live video event, we talked about building your emotional toolbox and how you can increase your emotional capacity by using the right tools. Like anything else, it takes practice. I’ve found I get better at communicating and having the difficult conversations after I’ve done it a few times – which means, the only way I get better at this stuff is by d-o-i-n-g- i-t!
Seriously, can we not talk about this? It just HARD you guys!
But – it’s come up several times in the divorce group this week, so I thought I might broach the subject during our weekly live video. It was a lot of fun I think!
Some of the questions up for grabs included…
Do you know how to stand up for yourself? When I was in the throes of therapy, I learned an important phrase – ‘say what you mean, but don’t say it mean.’ I was really bad at this – like really bad. The reason, I had no practice and not a lot of good modeling. I literally had no idea how to state my needs directly, concisely and without apology. I also didn’t have an inner belief that my needs were important.
It’s hard going from being a part of a couple to being single. Even if you know it’s what’s best. Even if being uncoupled is what you want. When I got divorced, I found I’d lost myself in my marriage. This happens to many of us who were in a state of uncontrollable dysfunction. We lose ourselves for the sake of the union.
If you are in the process of getting divorced, or considering divorce, it is a very vulnerable time for you. I remember that time. I could hardly tell you what I liked and what I didn’t like. I had to find myself again.
This week in our Divorcing Well group, we explored the idea of how and why we shut down our hearts. We took a challenge to review our hearts and review the places we might be shutting down.
It is so tragic when this happens, ladies. Mostly because it keeps us from living the abundant lives we were created to live. Join our group and join the conversation today.
Feeling crazy in a relationship? The problem might not be you - you might be experiencing gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the victim is left questioning and doubting their own feelings and sanity. Gaslighting is a power play used by the perpetrator to gain control over the victim
How do you handle self-doubt? For some of us, it's debilitating. Doubting yourself sometimes makes you want to quit. What we believe about ourselves and the messages we allow in, are often crucial to a successful outcome in any situation. Sometimes we begin to doubt ourselves because our 'gut' is telling us one thing while the people and circumstances around us are saying something else. Sometimes, the people around us are gaslighting.