For the Love of Men

When I die, I hope no one ever says, ‘he was such a nice guy.’

I had reconnected with an old friend and we were discussing the complexity of relationships over plates of tacos (so essentially, it was a perfect night for me).

The hearts of men have been on my mind quite a bit recently. As this thing grows and expands and it’s reach becomes out of my grasp, I’m getting more feedback. About half of that comes from men. The men are sending me ideas for guest posts, they are sharing my work with their peers and private Facebook groups. They want more and they want to talk about their hearts and relationships.

This is so exciting; most of what I write is essentially gender neutral; at the end of the day, we’re all just searching for the same thing.

That thing is connection.

The way you bring connection is to bring love, understanding, and acceptance. I hope I can do these things well.  

I love men. As women, we need the men in our lives. We need them to be strong and aware and careful with our hearts.

In the same way, women bring beauty;

Men bring strength. To relationships, to the earth. It is hard to accept a man who shows up in his full strength. It is extremely intimidating for it reminds us of who we are not.

And so, we bastardize strength – by either simplifying it into unbridled aggression or dismissing the need for it all together.

When I die, I hope no one ever says, ‘he was such a nice guy.’

My friend said he hoped what he brought to the lives of the people around him was more remarkable than just being a nice guy.

He is spot on.

So many nice guys, are essentially just passive men. They have learned somewhere along the way that their strength is not welcome, or that it’s something to be feared.

I will tell you, your strength is welcome here. We need it, we desperately need it.

I want the men in my life to be strong and remarkable. Just as I want to be remarkable right alongside them. I need their strength and vision when I’m caught up in the weeds of my own emotions.

For those who are searching, it is possible. Keep going, we need you.

Here’s to making it great.