Can you teach me how to say goodbye?
Facing change with integrity.
‘We’re gonna teach ‘em how to say goodbye’
It is a line from the song “One Last Time” in the second act of Hamilton. George Washington is not running for re-election and asks Alexander Hamilton to write his final address to the American people. In it, Washington’s character says to Hamilton’s:
One last time
Let’s take a break tonight
And then we’ll teach them how to say goodbye
It’s a line I can’t get out of my head right now.
I’m on the cusp of saying goodbye to a lot in this season of life.
My parents are getting older,
The dog is getting older,
My kids are graduating from college.
I’m beginning to realize it will be time to say goodbye soon, and I don’t think I’m ready for that.
I don’t feel ready for that.
(I know a lot of you are in this same season)
In the past, I’ve been pretty good at leaving, but I’m not sure I know how to say goodbye. Where is Lin-Manuel Miranda when I need him?
I’m saying goodbye to parts of myself, too.
- The young mother who spent most of her time mothering over the past 25 years.
- The 40-something lost in the euphoria of a new love. It has settled into something deeper now, but still.
- The young girl who had her whole life ahead of her.
All of these parts have become beautiful things, mind you, but it’s a goodbye nonetheless.
Knowing some chapters are over brings a sadness that I wasn’t expecting or anticipating.
I can feel I’m also saying goodbye to a smallness that’s been lurking around and keeping me feeling safe—the contained Sara. I’m unsure when exactly, but she’s about to leave. I know it in my knower.
With any new growth, something must die—death and life are intertwined, and grief comes with any change, even when the changes are ‘good’.
As I analyze my heart, I am asking important questions about how I say goodbye and, more importantly, how I say goodbye with integrity—in a way that honors my heart.
How do I want to say goodbye?
It will be like with anything else - one step at a time. Feeling it - not ‘handling’ it - not glossing over it and moving on to the next more comfortable thing that appears.
Honoring what was in its fullness - what helped, what hurt.
Accepting it all. Feeling it all.
Then, making a way for something new to begin.
How do you say goodbye?
Feel free to tell me in the comments below.
LYLAS -
S