Silencing The Inner Critic
This is a piece I brought over from Unchained circa 2016. It’s such an important topic that I thought you might find it helpful.
It was a leap, and I knew it. But any great thing, any bold move, begins with a risk. Risk is inevitable if you choose to live a whole life and be fully alive.
Our hearts, our ideas, our money – sometimes you must ask, ‘Am I willing to risk something important to have an opportunity to gain something great?’
I’m making plans for my life—to write more and create more. This poses a huge risk to my finances, my heart, and my relationships. These risks are all very real, and I am aware of them. I will try to mitigate as many as possible.
But in making plans to take this leap, I’ve become aware of the loud critic in my head.
The asshole boss from my past telling me I don’t know what I’m doing.
The worried parent, concerned that I’m not thinking things through.
The jealous friend (?) spewing a constant reminder that I’m not smart enough, pretty enough, or anything enough to have something ‘better’ than she.
I have dealt with the inner critic before. She is a vixen and she sucks.
Yet, these tapes are still stuck in my head, and there’s a reason I’m hearing them right now.
For every given purpose, you will face resistance. The resistance usually comes in the form of a wound – a moment in time when you were criticized, mocked, or humiliated because of the gifts that will bring you to your purpose.
These messages begin early in life (sometimes very early) and continue to perpetuate via reinforcement from outside influencers or the inner critic until you stop them. The stronger the call, the more resistance and the more profound the wound.
Much of the resistance we face manifests as shame. Find your most significant source of shame, and you’ll discover your purpose in life.
For on the other side of your shame lies your destiny.
I’m wrestling with my inner critic, who reinforces the belief that good things are not for me. The work, the passion, and the love I desire in my life are unattainable. It tells me I’m not talented enough, smart enough, pretty enough. It says I’m reckless, not thinking things through, and don’t know what I’m doing.
My inner critic says I should be afraid to want all the beautiful things meant for me. Trying to attain this will only lead to disappointment and rejection, and nothing hurts me quite as much as being disappointed or rejected. (ding – ding – ding… that’s the money shot right there, folks)
The critic is not my boss, my parent, or even my selfish frenemy. The critic is me and my agreement with their tales—what I tell myself about myself because of their words.
The key to silencing the inner critic is to discover your authentic self and then discover the God (force, higher self, whatever you want to call it) within you. It is so important to distinguish your voice from the critic banging around in there.
Listen, really listen to your voice. It is found in the things, the people, and the stories you love – in the quiet stillness behind all the stress, worry, and anxiety of life. It’s the place in your heart where you sink in and say, “Ah, yes, this is right”… every single time.
Have you been able to identify and overcome (or at least reason with) your inner critic? I’d love for you to share your experience in the comments.
I appreciate each of you so much.
LYLAS -
S