When Everything Feels Like Too Much
It’s a lot right now.
In the world and in my life.
I wake up thinking about work most mornings, which is sometimes as early as 3 am. I’ve developed a terrible habit of rushing to fix my coffee and open my computer without taking any quiet time, engaging in self-reflection, or journaling.
Nothing that points toward understanding where I want my day to go or how I'll protect myself from burning out.
Don't get me wrong—I love my life. I'm living the life I've always wanted. But the groove I've found myself in lately shows very little resemblance to what I'd call good self-care. I've fallen into the trap of believing all other things must come first, that there's simply "too much to do."
Then I remembered something: it's not the world or my to-do list that's overwhelming me. It's what I'm telling myself about the world and my responsibilities that's taking me under.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
I've noticed that something's always playing on loop in my head, and I might as well control what that is. When overwhelm hits, I've learned to interrupt the spiral with specific phrases that help me shift:
All is well.
There is plenty of time.
This will work out.
These remind me that most of what I worry about exists only in my projections of the future, not in this moment.
Slowing Down When Everything Speeds Up
It's hard to wreck a car that's going five miles per hour. We’re not that different. When I feel that familiar tightness in my chest, instead of ramping up, I try to say no as often as possible. I cut my to-do list to only what's truly necessary. I've learned that urgent rarely means important.
This morning, I found myself fixated on productivity anxiety, so I shifted focus entirely. I noticed the empty Kleenex box in our guest bathroom—it had been sitting there empty all week. I took care in finding new tissues, placing them in the holder, and recycling the old box.
The whole process took about a minute, but my mind felt less cluttered afterward. Sometimes the smallest, most mundane acts create the most space.
Getting Out of Your Head
When I feel overwhelmed, I try to stay present in even the most mundane actions throughout the day. I'm putting toothpaste on the toothbrush. I'm brushing my hair—I notice it's tangled near my left ear.
When I can get out of my racing thoughts and into my body, it gives space for intuition to guide me to the next step.
What are you Really Carrying?
When the overwhelm feels especially sticky and things seem out of control, I have to ensure I’m not carrying around something that’s not mine to carry.
Here’s why…
When you try to control what’s out of your control, that thing begins to control you.
Read that again.
The real breakthrough came when I started asking myself: What am I carrying around that isn't mine? What am I worrying about that's completely outside my control?
What's Actually Working Out
I keep a running note on my phone called "Things That Are Working Out For Me." Every worry that feels insurmountable, every situation where I think "I have no idea how this will go, and that scares me"—it all goes in there. Later, I check items off when they resolve themselves.
Want to know how many have worked out in the end? All of them.
Not always in the way I expected or hoped, but they've all found their resolution, and typically not because of any action I did or didn’t take.
The contact I was hoping to make but didn’t, led to a better opportunity. The difficult conversation I'd been avoiding actually strengthened the relationship. The worry I experienced about one of the kids? They took care of it without me!
This is just pattern recognition. Most of what we fear never materializes, and what does materialize is rarely as catastrophic as our anxiety suggests.
Finding Your Way Back
The world does feel on edge right now. There is a lot to do. But I'm learning that overwhelm isn't about having too much, it's about forgetting that I have choices in how I respond to what's in front of me.
When everything feels like too much, I remember: perspective is everything. And shifting it is always within my reach.
Did you see yourself in this post? Recognize any patterns of overwhelm just before it all worked itself out?
You won’t want to miss my next podcast with Jess Greenwood, which is set to release on Thursday. She writes The Joy Luck Club here on Substack.
Our conversation on the next episode is about JOY; what it is, where we find it, and how we use it as a form of resistance. Jess is such a knowledgeable and thoughtful guest. I’ve listened to the episode a few times and have learned something new each time. I hope you’ll check it out.
Make sure to drop into my podcast on Thursday.
