I started writing on my blog, Unchained, in 2015, and though I’m now writing on Substack, you can find the ‘classics’ here.
Feel free to browse through or search below if you’re looking for something specific.
The Cliff of Transformation
In my house there is an ugly green couch. It was given to me by a friend when I was in the middle of divorce and in the process of a considerable downsize. I was literally cutting my square footage of living space in half and walking away from large spaces in favor of smaller, more manageable ones. The oversized furniture it took to fill up my old space was never going to work in this new place. Sometimes a purge is necessary – sometimes you should not adorn your new surroundings with your old materials.
Never Let Them Make You Feel Small
It started in middle school. Science class was held in a portable outside and it became a game for one boy to grab my *ss as we walked there each day. The next year, another great game was created when a different boy would pull me into the band closet and try to kiss me while his friends held the door. Every year, it was my great pleasure to be greeted by the PE teacher as I emerged from the locker room after dressing out, “would you like fries to go with that shake?” he would ask as he watched my friends and me head down to the school field.
The Power of Rest
“I’m just so busy…” I caught myself. I was in the grocery store talking to a friend, or an acquaintance really, who had asked about my life. I never want to be the I’m so busy girl. The truth is we’re all really busy with things we’ve made up to do in order to occupy our time. Our level of busyness (or avoidance) is entirely up to us. When it comes to civilization, we have more free time than any societal group in human history. But even with all of our newly found freedom, we don’t take the time to properly care for ourselves in body and in spirit.
To Hell With It…
My name is Sara and I’m a recovering perfectionist.For most of my adult life I was a striver. A striver and a pleaser. For many years, my life consisted of a neatly compartmentalized set of rules and standards that created a false sense of safety and security. Nothing was as sacred as these self-imposed rules and I would let nothing violate them. If challenged, I would defend to the death, twisting the truth to match my skewed reality.
Rediscovering You
I told him it always felt like I was disappointing someone; my employer, my kids, my family, my friends. There just never seemed to be enough of me to go around. He had asked me to describe the most difficult thing about being a single mom. At the time, I thought that answer was true – but looking back, I think maybe the hardest part about being a single mom – or a mom in general is that it’s easy to lose yourself a little bit. He told me he wished I needed him more. A lot of people in my life say this.
Wrecked!
It was a very bad day. He was fired and upon release of the news, the company stock increased by 21%....She looked into her checking account and realized he had taken everything and had gone himself, leaving her with the house and the kids and all the explaining that goes along with such a matter…After years of an empty and volatile relationship, she had come to the realization that the life and the world she had built for herself needed to come to an end…
When Tragedy Strikes
Orlando has had a tough week. There’s a general malaise right now around the city. It’s a mixture of shock and grief, and sadness, a lot of sadness – but I think mostly we’re just trying to make sense of the senseless. And come to terms with all the terrible things that have just happened in our own backyard. It is hard to accept tragedy.
Being Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
“I just want to be certain – I want to know what’s going to happen, and I want to make sure I don’t get hurt.” I was silent, listening to my friend as she was carefully spelling out the details of a new romantic interest. Her voice was filled with enthusiasm and a little dread. New relationships are scary and she was afraid of the unknown.In life, there is so much uncertainty.
The Gift of Time
Would you rather have an infinite amount of money or an infinite amount of time? This question was posed to me by my 14 year- old son earlier this month. Without hesitation I knew the answer, he knew my answer – it was time.For whatever reason, money has never been all that important to me, but I love time - time to myself, time to contemplate, time to sit and be still, time with no agenda. I breathe it in like some sort of hyper-charged oxygen.
When Life Gets Messy
This is a picture of my actual kitchen. My house and my life are a little messy right now. I hadn’t noticed the state of the cluttered sink area really until I rounded the corner in my attempt to retire for the evening last night. And though I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the world’s most fastidious housekeeper, the image of dinner remnants and a week’s worth of unwashed coffee mugs brought in from my car (don’t judge) jarred me a little. I hadn’t realized how bad it had gotten. The messes in our lives can pile up quickly if we’re not paying attention.
The Secret Lie of Shame
A few years ago, I cut the cord. (This means I don’t have cable - or satellite TV.) I don’t miss it really unless an awards show or major sporting event happens. Then I’m forced to go elsewhere to watch said event. Since I’m a total homebody, ‘going elsewhere’ usually looks like reading about what happened online the next day because of course; there is no TV news.
The Importance of Feeling…
Life. It is filled with highs and lows, the inevitable peaks and valleys. It is full of jobs and kids, and happiness, and joy, and sorrow. People are mean to you, people are nice to you – things work out and sometimes they don’t. We struggle, we work, we find success and we fail. In the big things – in the little things.My life is no different. I live a very full and exciting existance in general, but the last 12 - 18 months have been especially demanding. Recently, I made a list of all ‘major’ events that have taken place for me in this past season…
Before I Die…
It was a dreary day in Asheville, NC when I stumbled across this gem in the middle of downtown. The wall was cleverly concealing a construction area inviting passersby to reflect and write their stories of things they want to do before exiting this earth.The responses ranged from the basics: travel, see Clemson win a National Championship, etc., to the more personal, ‘marry Tina ‘and ‘tell Lisa I love her.’ Some poor guy expressed direct interest in copulating with as many females as possible. There is one in every crowd I guess…I hope that guy finds what he’s looking for.
When Your Greatest Enemy Is You
I can’t move my right arm – which is a problem because as it turns out, having mobility in both arms is very useful. A trip to the doctor confirmed a frozen shoulder they say is a result of an overly ambitious gym routine combined with natural wear and tear on my 44 - year - old body. Or maybe there is no real reason, no one can tell me for sure.
How to be Fearless...
It was an idyllic crisp and clear winter day in Central Florida – perfect for a road trip. was driving my daughter back to school after Christmas break. We were only a few hours in, but six cups of coffee and a gas gauge that was headed toward E meant a pit stop was in order. I pulled off of I 95 onto an exit that lead to a small and swanky beach town where I knew the facilities would be acceptable; the coffee hot.
The Choice Between Life and Death
There is only one real rule in my house. ‘Don’t get dead.’ I stole the line from the movie UP, where the dog talks about the squirrel getting dead. (We think the use of poor grammar is hilarious – we are geeks). The idea is, God gave you an amazing brain - you are old enough to know right from wrong. Don’t make choices that are going to bring you physical, emotional, or spiritual death. I want my kids to find their sweet spots in life – to become who they were created to be and I want to teach them to choose life – choose to really live – every single day.
The Great Beauty
It was just another ordinary day when I decided to begin living the rest of my life - one day, and a choice that would change me forever. It was a choice to live in authenticity; to live in boldness; to be genuine and get real. Real with myself- and the rest of the world. It was the day I stopped denying the past and refused to continue as a member of the walking dead into my future.
How to Live Life With No Regrets
I live a wholehearted life– a life of openness and vulnerability. This means I take chances and calculated risks and when there’s a choice between playing it safe and going for it, I go for it. Because here’s the thing – you will hardly ever regret trying but you will always regret never knowing. Here are 5 things that help me experience this amazing journey called life without regretting a single minute…
How to Become an Overcomer
Life is an amazing adventure. Filled with highs and lows, good and bad: there is a Yin and and Yang to all circumstances. I have experienced some real adversity in my life. I've lost jobs, friends, money. People I trusted have betrayed me. Things I hoped would work out didn't. I am not afraid to take chances - sometimes I come out on top. Sometimes I fall on my face, but all the time, I count it as good. Because I am LIVING! That's why. If you are alive, if you are really living, life may not always be pleasant, but it will be real.