It had been a long day. Fatigue was wearing on all of us as we stumbled through the marathon of the typical suburban Saturday. Lessons, baseball, play practices, hair appointments, gym appointments, laundry and shopping – the list seemed endless. There was an issue with my son – in that he simply could not ‘remember’ to put his laundry away in spite of my incessant pleading.

This is a picture of my actual kitchen. My house and my life are a little messy right now. I hadn’t noticed the state of the cluttered sink area really until I rounded the corner in my attempt to retire for the evening last night. And though I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the world’s most fastidious housekeeper, the image of dinner remnants and a week’s worth of unwashed coffee mugs brought in from my car (don’t judge) jarred me a little. I hadn’t realized how bad it had gotten. The messes in our lives can pile up quickly if we’re not paying attention.

Life. It is filled with highs and lows, the inevitable peaks and valleys. It is full of jobs and kids, and happiness, and joy, and sorrow. People are mean to you, people are nice to you – things work out and sometimes they don’t. We struggle, we work, we find success and we fail. In the big things – in the little things.My life is no different. I live a very full and exciting existance in general, but the last 12 - 18 months have been especially demanding. Recently, I made a list of all ‘major’ events that have taken place for me in this past season…

It was a dreary day in Asheville, NC when I stumbled across this gem in the middle of downtown. The wall was cleverly concealing a construction area inviting passersby to reflect and write their stories of things they want to do before exiting this earth.The responses ranged from the basics: travel, see Clemson win a National Championship, etc., to the more personal, ‘marry Tina ‘and ‘tell Lisa I love her.’ Some poor guy expressed direct interest in copulating with as many females as possible. There is one in every crowd I guess…I hope that guy finds what he’s looking for.

Love - the simplest mystery of our existence. The Beatles say it’s all you need; England Dan and John Ford Coley say it’s the answer - God says without it everything else is meaningless.Wars have been fought over it, whole countries and its citizens brought to their knees over love. It is the subject of countless songs and poems – stories and movies. Everyone wants it; Maslow says we all need it.

The three of us were just sitting there staring at each other. An awkward silence filled the small 12x12 room. The therapist’s office – we’d been there a million times, but this time was different. This time was the beginning of the end. We had just decided – I had just told him – Divorce, I didn’t want to do this anymore – couldn’t do it anymore. He agreed, I think. It’s hard to say, we were both a little in shock.

There is only one real rule in my house. ‘Don’t get dead.’ I stole the line from the movie UP, where the dog talks about the squirrel getting dead. (We think the use of poor grammar is hilarious – we are geeks). The idea is, God gave you an amazing brain - you are old enough to know right from wrong. Don’t make choices that are going to bring you physical, emotional, or spiritual death. I want my kids to find their sweet spots in life – to become who they were created to be and I want to teach them to choose life – choose to really live – every single day.

We had tried – for three years, we tried. And it wasn’t working – nothing was working. It wasn’t like there was anything wrong with us exactly, except that everything was wrong. We were all screwed up. Royally screwed up.And so, after three years of therapy, three years of actively working to fix our relationship, it was time to call our 15 years of matrimony quits. Time to do what needed to be done. Except for one thing, we had to tell the kids. I was terrified – I’m talking shaking, throwing up terrified. The plan was to tell them together, neither of us blaming the other, which I’m told is the best way – but the truth is there can be no best way for something like this. It is like a horrific train wreck any way you slice it. I hope I never experience another night as terrible as the night I told my children their parents were getting a divorce.

I live a wholehearted life– a life of openness and vulnerability. This means I take chances and calculated risks and when there’s a choice between playing it safe and going for it, I go for it. Because here’s the thing – you will hardly ever regret trying but you will always regret never knowing. Here are 5 things that help me experience this amazing journey called life without regretting a single minute…

Life is an amazing adventure. Filled with highs and lows, good and bad: there is a Yin and and Yang to all circumstances. I have experienced some real adversity in my life. I've lost jobs, friends, money. People I trusted have betrayed me. Things I hoped would work out didn't. I am not afraid to take chances - sometimes I come out on top. Sometimes I fall on my face, but all the time, I count it as good. Because I am LIVING! That's why. If you are alive, if you are really living, life may not always be pleasant, but it will be real.

Some days there just aren't enough coffee and concealer. Thus is the plight of the single mom. Besides employers and kids who need you – the crazy of family, bills, dogs with fleas, and just life in general is enough turn even the likes of June Cleaver into something straight out of Mommy Dearest. These are the days where, just when you think you can't possibly take on any more, someone throws up…Usually on your favorite pair of shoes. Then you get your period.