How Do We Make It Through This Moment?
Thoughts on hope, grief, and resilience.
I spent last week at Kripalu, where Glennon Doyle and the Kripalu experts shared insights on a range of topics, from embodiment and breaking generational cycles to the costs of living in an algorithm-driven world. The sessions were meaty. My notebook got full.
But the one teaching I keep coming back to came up during the Q&A.
Someone asked: “How do we make it through this moment?”
Glennon referenced AIDS activist Dan Savage and the mantra that became a symbol of hope and resilience for the gay and lesbian community during the AIDS crisis, when the world turned against them out of fear. There were no answers, and the stakes were life and death:
We bury our friends in the morning. We march in the afternoon. At night, we dance.
Grieve. Work. Joy.
I can’t stop thinking about it. Not because it’s revolutionary, but because when I think about how we live our lives - how I tend to live my life - I believe we are forgetting two of the three. We know how to work. We’re good at marching. But we’re skipping the grief and abandoning the dance altogether.
Let me explain…
Below is a brief recap of this portion of her talk with some insight from me sprinkled in…
The Grief We’re Not Doing
If something is happening and you’re enraged by it, it’s because you have an internal vision that something can and should be different. If you see something and don’t have a problem with it, you’re either okay with what’s happening or you’re checked out.
The greater the distance between what you see and what you know is possible, the greater the vision—and the greater the pain.
This is where your rage comes from. Your grief. Your brokenheartedness. And here’s the thing: rage is proof of life.
But we need a place where that brokenheartedness can be seen. You need to be connected to people who understand what you’re feeling—not to wallow, but to witness. To know you’re not alone.
If you’re always angry right now, if you feel helpless or hopeless, it might be because you’re not letting yourself grieve. You have to let your heart break if you want to be worthy of the work.
What do you need to grieve today?
The Work That Gives Us Purpose
Then there’s the marching—the work. I’m not talking about literal protesting (though it’s great if that is actually your work). It’s whatever your work is for the day. Maybe it’s your actual job. Maybe it’s pouring into your family. Maybe it’s the internal work of your own healing.
Work gives us purpose, a sense of control, responsibility, and agency. Work is what we do with our grief. It’s how we channel our vision for what could be different.
What is your work today?
The Dance We’ve Forgotten
Inevitably, the work has to stop. Every day, the work must come to a halt. And you dance.
You have to remember that life is worth living. The dance is what you hold onto, making the grieving and the working worthwhile. It’s your humanity. It’s also proof of life.
The dancing—the joy, the delight, the pleasure—is what actually moves the grief. Without it, why are we even doing this?
What can you delight in today?
Why We Need All Three
We’re good at the middle part. We work. We march. We push through. We show up. We try to work our way through things.
But without the grief, we bypass what needs to move through us. And without the joy, we’re just surviving, not living. Without these two, we have no proof of life.
You need all three. The grief that breaks your heart open. The work that gives you agency. The joy that reminds you why it matters.
Life starts in the dark. It is in wanting that longing is created. And it is in longing that the shift happens—in both our internal and external worlds.
How you grieve, work, and dance today will shape your tomorrow.
I’ll ask again:
What do you need to grieve today?
What is your work?
What can you delight in?
Make these specific and intentional. Try to do it daily and let me know if it helps.
LYLAS -
S
If you need more JOY and DANCING in your life, I’ve got you covered. Listen to these two episodes of my podcast: